-Intermission-

I think that maybe lately I've gotten a little too caught up in things...I should really take a step back and re-evaluate things...

From what I realized today, things won't be the same and I don't know whether its for the better or the worse right now...

My greatest hope right now...is that he would just realize what an idiot he's being and that they accept each other back into their lives. And that perhaps I would be left to my own...

My heart right now...feels kinda like my frostbitten hand...cold and dead...and when you try to warm it...it only hurts...

As for why it's dead...i suppose thats the result of the past few years...

haha which reminds me of a conversation my roommate(the one i share a room with) had once...

Our other two apartmentmates are always looking for the next girl that they want to pursue...and always thought us weird for not doing so as well...So last year my roommate and I were talking about it...and we took the stance, "its not worth it" In reality though...i think that my heart has just become too numb to it all...I had given up completely and absolutely at that point...and still could not move past. Kinda like when you touch a powerline of something...you would save yourself by just letting go...but you aren't able to.

I think that one of the reasons I wanted to be a father...was because then I would have someone that I could devote myself to completely and absolutely...something I think that I desperately needed to do at that point in my life...