one day...I think I'm happy...and then suddenly I have a horrible nightmare that just completely shakes the very core of my being...and I just can't look at anything the same...and I force myself to change things to try to find that happiness again...

but I think that really...the happiness was still there..I didn't need to do anything...but I think in moments of panic...I really do make the worst decisions and lose everything.

Or maybe I should just stop thinking.

I'm good at what I do..I should be happy enough...I'll leave it at that. No need for anything more