I only meant to write the quote...and this came out

"Love is giving someone the power to hurt you terribly, and hoping they don't. And we never trust anyone as easily as we did the first time."

Last night, driving a drunk tom to your house was interesting. I'm glad I didn't look back as I drove away...I'm sure I would've just driven off that off-ramp like I've always imagined myself doing. You tell me to call you...you say you're there for me and you really are...but then there are moments like these. Tried calling tonight too...multiple times...I remember you said you would be busy though so it doesn't bother me much. It's just a shame...I was feeling really good about things up until that moment. I felt a little better waking up today...and I'm sure I'll be fine tomorrow.

I think I've really come to feel that San Diego is my real home. I'm confident there...I'm proud to say I'm good at what I do...and even just basic stuff...I know how to get around. There really are two of me. At first I thought I was just pretending to be more self confident as I transitioned into college and made new friends...but the mask feels more comfortable than my real self. I would get rid of my "real" self, but my San Diego self doesn't know you and I wouldn't want to be unable to call you a friend. I always really wanted you to come down to San Diego for a visit so that you could see the independent and confident person that I feel I'm becoming. Sorry...instead you just get this...I don't know how to change this...so instead, in 2 days, I'll just run away to where I feel safe.

I'm glad to say I love you...even if I can't say I love myself...not yet at least

I don't know if it affects you much at all...or if you even think about it for longer than a fleeting moment...but every time I leave like this...it always feels like it's the last time I'll see you.