it always seems like everyone who has experienced something bad in a relationship thinks that their situation was the worst. All of the, "you don't know what its like!" 's bouncing hollowly off the walls. I'm almost certain that even at this early stage in our lives, we have all experienced heartbreak on some level. It really is true isnt it? Now that we're older, our hearts are colder. We'll never trust as much as the first time; there are holes in all of us.
Just as I can't fully understand the pain of loving and losing that you have experienced...I'm not sure that you can ever understand the pain of a one-sided love.
I've always said that I'll be here to talk to if you need me...but I'm finally understanding that the reality is the opposite isn't it...I needed you far more than you'll ever need me.
I'm impatient to know how my life ends. That way I could end it all right here...right now. Its kinda funny...most people prepare for their suicides...I think if I were to do it...I wouldn't give myself time to back out. I would just randomly start drinking the formaldehyde in lab.
Is it weird to say that I already don't feel like I'm alive?
Monday, February 1, 2010
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not weird at all. i've never thought that you were less experienced at heartbreak than i was. i do think i can somewhat identify with what you're feeling though, and i'm sorry...i wish things weren't painful(but you know that, i think)
don't be impatient to know how your life ends...that makes you sound like one of those people that always feels the need to flip to the end of the book. i hate those people ;) Books can have lots of interesting plot twists. you just have to let them run their course :)
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