-birthdays-

I eventually found it quite funny that you would ask me what I wanted for my birthday. I never really wanted anything, but it was kinda depressing to hear that you actually thought of my birthday only to forget when it actually came around haha. I remember the first few years you said that, I eagerly bought or made some kind of gift for your birthday and though I doubt many of them still exist, it is still a nice thought I guess. I don't know, maybe it was more special to me than I let myself realize. I mean if I think back on it..I suppose this was one the factors that led me to believe that you really didn't care much for me. Haha, kinda stupid I suppose. I mean, if I ever complained about something or was sad for some reason then I usually had your attention at some point...but other than those times I kinda felt ignored. I think it got so bad that by the time I was hospitalized for the 3rd time I didnt bother telling you. And yeah, I do remember you saying that you would visit me sometime in the hospital...that was understandable though. I don't know...I think I was just suddenly hit with a wave of sadness at seeing how much time attention you paid to other friend's birthdays =P. I guess thats just jealousy after all.